Over the next 20 weeks I will be writing a series of articles entitled 100 Healing Tips for Personal Transformation and Upliftment that I intend to turn into an expanded book on the subject. Some of these tips are powerfully life enhancing and are truly meant to be practiced for soul growth. I call these areas of life mastery that we are here to recall. I’ll point these out along the way. Ideally these are the keys for living an enlightened, joyful life of abundance. The other tips will be what I call uplifting actions that will open the passage way for new beginnings. They are ways to “reach for relief” when times are tough as I learned from the teachings of Abraham–a wise group of non-physical Beings who speak through the conscious channel Ester Hicks. You can find out more about their teachings by visiting their website www.Abraham-Hicks.com. When we take action in a mindful way that attends to our truest needs, we always feel relieved. Actions that “reach for relief,” or thinking that lightens our spirits, all fall in the category of soul re-alignment.
It is my wish that you will attract to you the Healing Tips or inspired actions that will guide you in your journey of transformation. Keep in mind that these are tips that feel good to me and that I feel are life enhancing when taken in moderation. Your greatest resource is always inside of you, so always follow what feels good to you until a solution arises within you. Remember not to escape your problems through this feeling good, but use these tools to come back to a more relaxed, calm you so you can then focus your attention on the solution. All solutions lie within and you have the power to access them. I’ve grown to appreciate these healing methods as my ways of revealing that which is most beneficial for me to act upon, move toward or embrace in my journey. The bottom line is that life is a journey to be explored, so have fun exploring these tips and listen to your guidance in all that you embark upon and experience.
Article 9: 100 Healing Tips for Personal Transformation and Upliftment
41. Check in With Your Inner People Pleaser
We’ve all had times when we’ve acquiesced to another person’s needs in order to keep the peace or to make them happy. For many this may be a chronic issue that stems from a programmed coping skill used during times of stress or chaos when growing up. I know that this was one of my main coping mechanisms while I was growing up and it carried over into adulthood as well. Basically, it is a fight or flight response so that a part of you can feel safe. Sometimes, people pleasing is a way to avoid punishment, threats or abuse even. It can also be a way to hide the truth away. We are meant to please ourselves and delight in pleasing others. However, we’re not always in the emotional or mental space to be able to please others. When we succumb to the needs or wants of another person or group of people in an effort to make everyone else happy, our own needs are not met and we live life feeling unfulfilled. Over time we even tend to let go of our own beliefs, wants and desires because it’s just easier to “keep the peace”.
Of course, this is a false sense of peace. Real peace pleases the self and creates a space for others to recognize their own majesty. Many times chronic people pleasers have no sense of the majesty of life. They feel impotent in the world and over time this impotence can lead to many types of illnesses. Our true power lies in our ability to honor others needs at the same time we honor ours. All contrast or conflict has a solution that upholds the highest good of all–that feels good to everyone involved. As we become more conscious of our own needs and the desire to have them fulfilled, we empower to change our responses to that of collaboration and co-creation that pleases all.
Checking in with your Inner People Pleaser is as simple as focusing your attention on your heart until you begin to feel the stress lift and then asking your heart, what do you need, want or desire in this situation. Write it down and then act on it. Acting on what you discovered is in your heart, will help parts of you to heal and empower. You can also keep a journal and write about all the times you pleased others during the day but didn’t please yourself. Feel into why you did this and what you really wanted. Over time, you’ll see the pattern or belief that you hold about yourself. Perhaps you don’t feel like an equal to your partner or boss. Perhaps you were taught to slave over others by your mother or father. Whatever the reason is, it truly doesn’t uphold the highest good for all involved. As Souls, we always want to create win/win scenarios that are harmonious and joyful. In the next couple of tips, I’ll share more about this. For now, know that your Inner People Pleaser is teaching you to please yourself.
42. Transform Your Co-dependency Tendencies
Co-dependency is a term used to describe a psychological condition or relationship that is excessively controlling and can even be manipulative. All co-dependent relationships are disharmonious and not in integrity with our truest nature as Souls. Chronic people pleasers are often involved in co-dependent relationships that no longer serve them. They stay in the relationship for safety reasons or because they are receiving some form of emotional benefit. Either way it’s a form of denial. The best example of this is the wife that stays with an abusive, alcoholic husband. They keep the peace and maintain the status quo because they are afraid to be on their own or they may even be ashamed of what is happening in their marriage. Worse yet, they may even fear for their life. In these cases, I highly recommend that the person being abused find a shelter or a friend to assist them in removing themselves from this situation.
Of course, there are subtler expressions of co-dependency that occur but in each relationship, there is always someone who is controlling another in some way. Many times in co-dependent relationships, each party has issues with their own ability to fulfill their needs outside the relationship. Their whole identity is wrapped up in the relationship, they lack a sense of autonomy which leaves them lacking in the ability to be independent and interrelated. Typically, they don’t feel whole within themselves but a product of other people’s beliefs, wants and desires. Sometimes they have no mind of their own or at least not one that they are empowered to share. This is nothing to be ashamed of. I’ve been there and I had to maintain the status quo in order to survive and get out on my own. In many ways, people pleasing and remaining in co-dependent relationships is a way to reach for relief because it’s too hard to face what is going on. There comes a time however, that it’s no longer relief but suffering.
If you’re in a co-dependent relationship then ask yourself what you are really afraid of? What do you really want? Are you willing to seek fulfillment of what you want elsewhere? Is there a creative solution that empowers you? You are the creator of your world through your thoughts, feelings and actions. Maintaining the status quo in a relationship that doesn’t feel good to you is like walking around in a circle and never going anywhere. Worse yet, if you’re being threatened, then your whole body is in flight or fight most of the time. Not only is this not healthy for you, but it also doesn’t provide a firm foundation for you to grow from. Essentially your life becomes stagnant. We are meant to thrive in our relationships but thriving relationships are a product of individuals who feel prosperous inside and out.
How do you transform a co-dependent tendencies? First, bring awareness to them and the underlying reasons for allowing this type of relationship. You may require assistance from a counselor to resolve the belief patterns. Secondly, know that you are WORTHY of more than this and that you have the innate power to take charge and end this pattern. No one else can make that decision for you. There is no shame in this relationship pattern. It served the higher purpose of helping you to find your power and to trust yourself. It has mirrored to you precisely what you DO NOT want in your life and what unhealthy control is. It’s taught you how to stay true to you, your spirit and your love for self. Lastly, forgive yourself and the other person. Know that all that occurred was a product of beliefs, feelings and patterns of thinking that were learned and mirrored to you both as children. You simply became that which you feared most. Every co-dependent person has a scared child inside that we can forgive and have compassion for.
43. Speak Your Truth
Speaking your truth and standing true to yourself can be very healing. I know that when I finally confronted my father and stepmother about the sexual abuse that went on in our family, my whole life started to change. All the denial was brought to the surface so it could be faced and healed. At least this was the case for me. I honored myself in that day and set a clear boundary in our relationship especially where my young daughter was concerned. At a minimum, it brought to Light all the pain that we had been holding onto. I never wanted to hurt my family through speaking this truth. I entered into it wanting to release judgement, blame and with respect for the love that I had for each of them. I know now that I am not responsible for how another person feels. They are the keeper of their emotions and their emotions are signals from their Soul teaching them how to love more. I also feel that part of speaking your truth is about uplifting others to speak theirs, especially when it’s absent of malice. Speaking your truth never truly harms another when it’s done with the intent to uphold the highest good.
To me, speaking your truth is also about expressing that which you truly want and knowing that it’s okay if it’s not what everyone else wants. Your truth is yours to own, to discover or resurrect. It lies within you and is to be shared when it feels most appropriate, uplifting and beneficial to all involved. Bringing things to the surface to be healed is an act of courage. We need courage to overcome any obstacles in our life. But beyond courage is the resurrection of faith. When we speak our truth in good faith with honesty, honor and compassion, it can lead to deeper levels of self love, harmony, peace, joy and good for all. Speaking our truth is an act of Divine Will when done with clarity and openness to resolve what is hindering love, freedom and the flow of well-being. Keep in mind that you are in charge of the good that is spoken through you and where it lands. Even if it lands on deaf ears, it still has a positive cause in this Universe. What people do with your expression of truth and wisdom is their choice. There will be more on this subject in my books to come, but know for now that speaking from a genuine place, not a false one, truly does set you free. Hopefully, it will set others free as well.
44. Know and Act to Fulfill Your Core Needs
Everyone has core needs that when fulfilled sustain them and fuel your wants and desires. We all have basic physical needs as humans such as, water, food, shelter, sexual intimacy, affection, love, freedom etc. When these needs are not met fully in our lives, we can lose hope and begin to feel vulnerable. We can even have the fear of losing our life. When our core needs are not met fully, we can be living in a fight or flight response that puts you in a state of hyper sensitivity to what you need and to the lack of it. Life in this state of negative hyper-emotion can become a self fulfilling prophecy of non-abundance. Our immune system can begin to shut down, our bodies can become frail and feel too weak to stand on our own. The great thing about fight or flight responses, is that it will cause us to take action, through instinct, to fulfill our needs.
Acting to fulfill our needs lets all the parts of us know that we are moving toward safety and life fulfillment. Our baser instincts to thrive are born with us. We must listen to these needs at a very young age. That’s why we cry when our needs aren’t met. When I was healing my core wounds in this lifetime, a mentor of mine and my Soul, directed me toward a book called Emotional Bullshit. I know it sounds brash, but it is a very poignant, intelligent book about core needs and why it’s so important to the human psyche to have them fulfilled. It’s a practical guide to uncovering the un-truths that were held within. It’s also a book about loving oneself enough to ask for what you need so that you can then begin to dream bigger dreams.
Once I made a list of all my needs and then took action to have them fulfilled, my world started to mirror back to me just how loved and appreciated I was. It was so healing to recognize this and to this day I make sure that my core needs are met. I know now that I have to fulfill some of those needs myself and some I can ask to be fulfilled by others. Of course this is done with reverence for that person’s choice and availability to give to me. Today I work with people to discover their core needs, wants and desires at a Soul level. This alone can be very healing, revealing and expanding for any person. I recommend that you seek assistance if you feel stuck because “stuckness” can become malignant.
45. Restoring Balance Through Working With Your Chakras
Chakras are energy centers that align along the spine and on various points of the body that assist in regulating the balance and well-being of all our bodies (we have emotional, mental, physical and spiritual bodies). The chakra system is a part of the subtle body system that is not seen by the naked eye but can be detected through your 6th sense and through scientific equipment. The word chakra is sanskrit for “wheel”. Those who have the ability to detect chakras through their 6th sense, often describe them as “wheels of light” or tornado type energy vortexes that feed back into the body.
There are 7 main chakras that line up along the spine starting at the tail bone area at the base of the spine to the top of the head. Each one of these chakras has its function on a physical, emotional, mental and spiritual level. Ideally, you want your chakras to be functioning at an optimal level and “in balance”, meaning the chakra is open and not restricted. Each chakra has a color, tone and vowel sound that it resonates with when in perfect harmony.
There are many ways to restore balance to your chakras from sound therapy, toning, crystal and stone therapy, hands-on healing, creative visualization and intuitive introspection just to name a few. Since each chakra has its governing proprieties and dysfunctional properties, you can easily begin to solve any emotional, mental or physical issue through changing the dysfunctional habits, thoughts or beliefs that throw your chakras off balance. Sometimes restoring balance to your chakra system requires some intuitive counseling and introspection. Below is a chart that describes each chakras location, color, vowel and tone that it resonates with along with the governing properties of each chakra. Working with your chakras can be an easy way to bring yourself back into alignment with the whole of who you are. For deeper introspection and healing, I recommend my upcoming Chakra Healing and Wisdom Course.
For information about this online course simple go to www.HeartTransformations.com/chakrahealingcourse.
Well, that’s all for this week. Check in next week for 5 more Healing Tips! As always I welcome your feedback and look forward to your comments. If you need any assistance in your healing and spiritual awakening journey, please feel free to contact me for a private session or check out some of my online products and other events on my website www.HeartTransformations.com.
With Love and Gratitude,
Marie A. Georgopulos